Dear Coleen,
Around a year ago, I faced challenges in my relationship that were constantly changing. Simultaneously, I encountered family issues which I often discussed with a supportive friend. Despite her patience and sound advice, she has now become unresponsive to my attempts to reach out. I speculate that my persistent troubles may have exhausted her, making her hesitant to engage further. Although my situation has improved since then with the breakup of my relationship and a resolution with my family, I am unsure whether to approach my friend again and potentially apologize for burdening her during my turbulent times.
Reflecting on my past behavior, I realize I may have been self-absorbed and neglectful of my friend’s needs while seeking assistance. I feel somewhat embarrassed about this realization. I seek your guidance on how to proceed in this situation.
In response, I suggest reaching out to your friend, expressing the same sentiments you shared with me. Allow her the space to decide whether to reconnect. Continuously providing advice to someone who does not heed it can be draining, leading to what is known as compassion fatigue.
Consider thanking her for her support, informing her about the end of your relationship, and acknowledging any excessive complaining on your part. Express your genuine appreciation for her friendship and understanding. Sometimes, friendships require breaks, and individuals may naturally drift apart over time. It is essential not to dwell on self-criticism during challenging periods when personal issues seem all-consuming, making it hard to perceive the bigger picture.
After conveying your feelings, you will likely find it easier to move forward positively, regardless of your friend’s response. Remember, self-forgiveness is crucial, and navigating difficult times often clouds our judgment. Sharing your thoughts can provide closure and facilitate a healthier outlook on the future, whether or not your friend chooses to rekindle the relationship.
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She has brought her candid opinions to Loose Women and has established herself as Britain’s most straightforward advice columnist, offering insights on sex, relationships, and life challenges.
For correspondence:
EMAIL: dearcoleen@mirror.co.uk
WRITE TO: Coleen Nolan, The Daily Mirror, One Canada Square, London E14 5AP
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